


Like Night and Day

by zantetsvkens (One_Piecee)



Series: a place where we belong [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M, at least i think its angst im really not sure what this is tbh, edit: will i ever finish writing the second part? we will never know, i didnt write out the actual scene though because i would combust into flames, im trying though i really am, precious kids realizing that they are in love, rated as teen and up due to mentions of sex, sighs, there is fluff at some points????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 01:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6778840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/One_Piecee/pseuds/zantetsvkens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were polar opposites and yet, in some oddly weird way, they were one and the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Night and Day

**Author's Note:**

> Doesn't follow canon story line all the way through as I had added in some of my own scenes. This is a small drabble told from both Allen and Kanda's point of view; Allen's POV is the first chapter while Kanda's POV will be the second.
> 
> Theme/Prompt: Night and Day and their thoughts on one another.

When we first met, something that was akin to fear seemed to course through my veins as your cobalt blue eyes gazed at me over the sword that was mere inches away from piercing through me.

No, it wasn’t that fact that I was about to probably, most certainly die by your hand, but the fact that your eyes seemed to have been able to see right through me; right into my soul and see me for who I truly was.

It was, to say the least, terrifying.

You, who is all black and blue and reminded me of a cloudless night where the moon shone brightly in the dark sky, had eyes that seemed to just _know._ You seemed to know all about me and the horrors that followed me; it was almost as if you were able to see my true nature and not just the mask that I wore to conceal it.

At first I wanted to distance myself from you; I felt too vulnerable, too exposed under that heavy gaze of yours and I didn’t want you to find out anything about me or my curse. I guess that over time that feeling had wavered and eventually crumbled into dust. There was just something about you that drew me to you, something that pulled me in and just wouldn’t allow me to leave you alone.

It took a while, but I soon came to realize the reason as to why I was drawn to you like how a moth is to a flame.

I can’t be quite sure, but perhaps it first started when we were in Mater. You had said some pretty horrible things back then but by the end of it all I soon came to realize that despite your harsh words and the cold front that you put up, you are actually a loyal and reliable person, trustworthy even.

I acknowledged your strength that day and the way that you were able keep a level head even in the direst of situations, though I would never admit it. I guess that’s one of the many things that makes me so different from you and for that I am somewhat glad. Where I tend to act on my emotions alone, you are there to pick up the missing pieces with that calm demeanor of yours that seemed like a second skin to you.

From that moment onwards I guess things just kind of fell into place.

I may have discovered something important during those days in Mater with you but of course it wasn’t going to be smooth sailing from there. There was just something about you that always seemed to rub me the wrong way; I don’t know what it was but it would cause us to fight constantly, no matter what the topic was about.

It kind of makes me wonder; just what it is about you that made me forget to put on that mask? No matter what you said or did it would always bring out the worst within me. Maybe it was our conflicting views on just about everything which caused us to constantly be at one another’s throats, or perhaps it was because we didn’t want to accept the fact that we were just so similar to one another yet so different at the same time.

As time passed, I couldn’t help but come to enjoy our petty little arguments and I was pretty sure that you felt the same way too. It may annoy others, and as much as I dislike that, the fact that I got to spend some time with you, even if we were close to throttling each other, made me happy.

At some point I soon found myself admiring you from afar. I admit, it was a little surprising and slightly horrifying when I first realized that, but as soon as I came to terms with it I just couldn’t stop. I began to notice the little things whenever I was with you; every single time you were within sight or whenever you walked into the room my eyes would be drawn to you. I wasn’t sure if you ever noticed, and I sincerely hoped that you didn’t because that would have been embarrassing, but for whatever reason I just couldn’t look away.

But then we were separated. It wasn’t uncommon, what with our jobs as exorcists, but this time I had a sinking feeling that it would be a long while before we saw one another again. I was tasked with finding my master, Cross Marian (and God only knows where he is), while you were sent off to find General Tiedoll.

As I searched for my master, I would, on occasion, find myself thinking about you. Have you run into any trouble? Have you been well? I always wondered about that whenever I was away from your presence.

I had eventually made my way to China in my search for my master and from the moment I had stepped foot onto that foreign land I should have known that nothing would go in the direction that I had hoped it would. I guess you could kind of think of it as a premonition of sorts, and in the end I was right.

I remember laying there in the grove under the moonlight, defeated and without my innocence, when all of a sudden in my last moments you had appeared in my mind. Even with the excruciating pain that I was in you had somehow managed to worm your way into my thoughts and I would have laughed at that had I not been dying at the time. I fleetingly wondered as my vision began to darken, how would you react to the news of my death? You never showed your emotions, let alone seemed to care for anyone, but would I be any different?

In the back of my mind I had hoped so because although I hadn’t quite reached a conclusion about my feelings for you, I had hoped that your feelings for me had changed over the years that I had known you like how mine had changed for you.

When I had woken up, dazed and confused beyond comprehension, my first thought had been of you. I would never admit it, but it was the truth. I remember clearly; my first thought upon waking was to call your name. I never did though, because the fact that I was alive had shocked me down to my very core moments later.

I wasn’t expecting to run into you in Edo, but when you had appeared out of the fog with Mugen drawn and ready to cleave me in half, my heart skipped a beat. And no, it wasn’t because of the fact that you were about to rend me in two, but because it had felt like an eternity since I had last seen you.

I was, to say the least, so happy to see you. I didn’t show it, but I was glad that I got to see you once more. You looked just as beautiful since I had last seen you, if not more. Your hair was down, an unusual sight on its own because you usually had it tied up, but with your hair framing your face and the moon shining down on us from above, it looked as if you were glowing, ethereal almost.

You are like the night, all dark and cold and stoic, but in that moment I had seen a flash of relief in your eyes, though I wasn’t entirely sure. My eyes may have been playing tricks on me for all that I knew but even if my eyes were deceiving me then, it made the butterflies in my stomach flutter.

When we ran into that Noah and you had elected to stay behind, I had volunteered to stay with you because I couldn’t risk leaving you to fight this battle alone; you had refused to let me fight by your side and had forced me to go on ahead and it was then that I knew.

When I made my way down the corridor and the floor began to crumble beneath my feet, my heart hammered in my chest and I had found it hard to breathe; I didn’t hear your footsteps echoing in the space behind me and I was so, so afraid.

You didn’t appear when we entered the next room and I prayed to God that you were still alive; I hoped that you would suddenly walk up behind me, calling out to me with that stupid nickname you had given me when we first met, and asking me what was up with the look on my face.

But that didn’t happen.

After I had stopped the ark, I hate to admit it, but tears had filled my eyes as soon as I saw that you were safe and sound. When you smirked after our little spat I couldn’t help but smile and feel my cheeks get a little warm because despite the fact that you were bruised and battered and missing literally half of your clothes, you were there and you were alive.

I was relieved; I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost you for good this time.

After we had been released from the infirmary I had asked you to spar with me. I had found you meditating in the training room that day and to be honest, asking you that one question was quite nerve-racking. I was afraid that you might reject the offer, but to my surprise you had accepted.

It made me smile.

We had spent several days sparring with one another, and those days had eventually turned into weeks. Sure, we got into arguments quite often (which would then lead to actual physical confrontations), but I enjoyed spending my time with you like this nonetheless.

And then you did something unexpected.

That day had started out like how it normally would; meditate, stretch, spar. That’s how our routine went. But during the spar you (who had gotten a lucky break because I would never admit that you had bested me in hand-to-hand combat) had swept my feet out from under me and pinned me to the ground, a smirk gracing your lips.

We had stayed like that, attempting to catch our breaths as we threw empty insults at one another. Your hair had come undone at some point, the black tresses falling around us like a curtain and shielding us from the outside world so that all that was left was just you and I and the space between us.

I couldn’t stop myself from staring, and by the time I had realized this it was already too late. I could feel the warmth in my cheeks as I cast my gaze away, looking anywhere but at you because I couldn’t stand to see what kind of expression you were making.

But then you surprised me.

Yes, I was surprised. Of course I was, because you had leaned in then, closing the gap between us and hesitated ever so slightly before pressing your lips against mine.

And no, I definitely did not make some weird noise when I had finally registered just what exactly you were doing and I most definitely did not bury my fingers in your hair and pull you closer.

When you pulled away just far enough to look into my eyes, I knew that my face was about as red as a tomato. My heart hammered in my chest and my mind was filled with nothing but you in that moment; your taste, your smell, your—

…Why, I ought to smack that smug look off of your face.

But I didn’t do that because the only thing that I could think of doing in that moment was smile as a feeling of pure, utter joy buzzed through my veins.

It’s too bad that this happiness couldn’t last forever.

The Noah within me had begun to awaken and there wasn’t much that I could do to stop it. I tried, I really did, but the Noah wore me down bit by bit and it was slowly, yet surely, driving me insane.

Why was I chosen to be the Musician’s successor?

Why was I chosen to be the 14th Noah?

There were so many questions and yet I had no answers to them.

_Keep walking, you must keep walking._

Mana…

_Who am I exactly?_

When my master disappeared, you were there for me. No words were exchanged when you had walked into the reading room that day, there was no need for words after all; you had simply placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

And for that I am grateful.

You are like the dawning of a new day; calm, steady, comforting; a supporting pillar that can help me through whatever shitty thing life had decided to throw at me.

But then I had witnessed your memories. They were painful. So, so painful and I felt for you then. You, who is always so strong, are plagued with such horrible memories and I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to be there for you like how you had been there for me because this isn’t something that you should have to endure alone.

I don’t care if you don’t want to let me in. I don’t care if you don’t want me to comfort you, be there for you. From the moment that I had realized my feelings for you I had been prepared for such things. I won’t let you endure this alone because I will be there for you, always.

When you had uttered my name and smiled so genuinely, I wanted to cry. You looked so beautiful then, with your hair flowing in the breeze under the clear skies and the afternoon sunlight… you looked almost like a dream.

You are like the sun on a hot summer day; bright, full of life and so full of love and warmth. You are so radiant and you shine so brightly, it almost hurts.

That was the first time you had ever said my name, and would probably be the last. I was so happy and yet I felt so sad at the same time. Before you disappeared through the Ark Gate, I mouthed to you words that I did not have the courage to tell you earlier.

_I love you._

I wasn’t expecting to see you again, especially in that square with a member of the science division by your side. He was entranced by my performance but you, I knew that you had felt an inkling of familiarity when your gaze had landed on me; I could see it in your eyes. I was scared, to be honest, because I didn’t want you to figure out that it was me; I couldn’t drag you into the mess that revolved around me and burden you with such a thing.

When the Akuma appeared, I had no choice but to shed my disguise in order to save the young girl who had unfortunately been caught in its path. I saw you running, but I could only smile almost painfully as I rocketed towards the rooftops and led the Akuma away from the crowd, away from you.

_It hurts._

Those were the only words that I could think of when I lay there, crumpled into a heap beneath the bridge. I could feel them, _see_ them closing in on me; is this some sort of sick, twisted version of cat and mouse?

But then you appeared destroying the Akuma that was about to devour me. When you reached for me, I felt a surge of anger within me and smacked your hand away. You were finally free, so why did you go back? Weren’t the both of you supposed to be free together?

_His last moments are mine and mine alone. That’s the proof of the freedom that you had given us._

Those were your words to me and I could do nothing but grieve for the boy who had finally been allowed to pass on in peace.

I don’t remember what happened next, but when I came to you were standing over me, the cool steel of Mugen’s blade pressed against my neck. I was confused and you were yelling; you had managed to direct my gaze to the bed adjacent to the one I currently occupied and I felt my heart stop at the sight before me.

_No._

Horror. I was horrified because when did I…?

_I hurt him._

I couldn’t stay here, I couldn’t stay by your side. I would only bring pain and suffering to you and the proof of that was sitting there before us, dried blood matting the side of his head. What had surprised me though was how that scientist had confessed so boldly, stating that he had left the Order to be by my side; with you there, standing beside him, I couldn’t help but think that you had done the same.

I was happy, because I had finally realized just how lonely I was being on my own.

However, I was still terrified of what the 14th had done so I had made a request and asked if the scientist could stay in a different room for the night. I was afraid that the 14th would awaken once more and I didn’t want him to be there when it had happened; he was hurt so easily by him the last time and I wanted to ensure that it wouldn’t happen again. There were some protests, mostly coming from said scientist himself, but you had taken my side and for that I was grateful.

When we settled in for the night I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of sadness as I came to terms with the condition that I was currently in. You were there for me, as you always had been in the past, and not for the first time I found myself thinking about how glad I was that I had met you.

Perhaps what I said next was a bit selfish but I couldn’t help but feel that this was the only time that I could ask because with each passing day, with each passing second, I could feel myself slowly being devoured by the 14th. For just one day, just one night, I wanted to be me and me alone without having to worry about being taken over.

I wanted to be Allen Walker and nobody else.

_Make love to me._

You were shocked, I could see it in your eyes. It was a normal enough reaction so I wasn’t all that surprised; I mean, how often does someone ask you to make love to them while they are on the brink of shattering into pieces and worrying about someone taking over their body and completely erasing them from existence?

Not quite often, if I had to take a guess.

But I knew that you knew my reasoning for this and I watched as you did nothing but release a quiet sigh and remove the band holding your hair back. I remember your warmth as you gently ran your thumb over my cheek before kissing me, the feelings that you had been wanting to tell me being conveyed through that single action alone.

It had nearly brought me to tears.

You had placed so much raw emotion into such a simple act and I couldn’t help but return the favor; I guess I could let you shoulder some of my burden, if only for a little while.

As we lay beneath the covers, spent and satisfied and wrapped in each other’s warmth, I couldn’t help but think of the first time I had met you and all the events that had led us up to this moment.

You were like the night then, all dark and cold and mysterious, but the time that we spent together had allowed me to see the truth about you. You aren’t as dark and cold and mysterious as I had originally thought you to be but rather you are like the sun; bright and warm and beautiful. You shine in your own way which makes you seem so much more lovely and I can’t help but fall for you all over again.

We are like night and day; so different yet so similar at the same time. Like the moon and the sun, we have learned to coexist; we couldn’t stand being in the presence of one another before but now here we are having come together as one.

My only wish is that I can spend the rest of my days with you like this, but I know that moments like these won’t last forever. For us, ‘forever’ doesn’t exist. As exorcists we live without knowing when we will take our last breath; it could be today, tomorrow, a week, a month or even a year from now. We don’t know and never will know until that time comes.

So until that time comes, I want to be by your side.

I love you, Kanda Yuu. I always have and I always will.

**Author's Note:**

> I may or may not make a sequel piece to this... I was also not sure on where I was going with this when writing it so I'm really ???? at myself right now if you know what I mean.


End file.
